self preservation

Isn't it interesting how the "right" thing to do is usually the hardest? But what of a situation when the right thing for you isn't the right thing for another?

It's strange to think about humans and how we operate, when you really try to think about it. All the emotions and thoughts we have.. The fact that we cry or feel or think, smile or laugh. We can feel exhilerated or happy, or be so caught up in the thought of someone or something that we can't even function, can't sleep, can think of nothing else. It truly boggles my mind when I attempt to give it deep thought. That we can inflict these things upon others - is it a gift or a curse? It's wonderful to make someone feel proud or loved, excited, needed, wanted. But what happens when those things turn around, when you make someone hurt, desperate, lost, sad, alone? There's nothing to be done to disperse those feelings; and even if they eventually change back to positive emotions, there's still some sort of scar, a reminant of the hurt that once was there.

So what is to be done when the right thing (for you) only hurts someone else? You can tell someone not to hurt, don't let it bother them; it's "for the best," but that changes nothing. Emotions cannot be controlled. As powerful as we are, there is nothing we can do to over-ride thoughts or feelings. So is it better to do what you know will hurt someone else, so you can function normally again? Or sacrifice yourself in order to save them a little pain? Which hurts more in the long run? Isn't it human nature to concentrate on the bad, instead of being glad for what once was? Seems we only miss the things from our past, and they haunt our minds for the rest of our existance. Love lingers inside us forever; unforgettable, uncontrollable. The same sometimes applies to hatred. Memories are a wonderous, terrible thing...

At times one must stop caring more about everyone else, and take care of ones self. Selfish? Depends on the situation and how it's gone about, or how often it's done. But mostly, (when executed correctly) it's self-preservation. It's hard to forget about another to care about yourself, though. But... the right thing to do is usually the hardest thing to do; is it not? Best to move on and not look back..? Seems that's easier said than done..